I'm Feeling Much Better Now

It has taken me a year to recover from the abuses I endured as a first year, eighth-grade teacher in an urban district. Why this was not a good fit for me became a little clearer today during a conversation with a fellow reading specialist. Let's call her Dee Dee (this is not her name). I told Dee Dee that even though I can start my day 8 a.m., I choose to start at 7:30 like the rest of the staff because I "need to be loved." Dee Dee said she works for a principal that is nice to her one day and mean the next. Dee Dee told her supervisor that it was okay if she placed her in that particular school permanently because she "didn't need love." I, on the other hand, need to feel appreciated. For a year I was unappreciated. The kids knew what kind of operating system I had. It was the love type. This is an old outdated operating system. In my current position, I am able to love the kids I work with and they do appreciate me, so all is well. If I had been able to start fresh with a new class of kids and not be the teacher who replaced a well liked and well loved teacher, maybe things would have been different. For now, I know who I am and what I need, flawed as I am.

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

To the vast void and anyone watching David Cook tonight, here are the words that I remember Roberta Flack singing....

The first time
ever I saw your face
I thought the sun
rose in your eyes
and the moon and the stars
were the gifts you gave
to the dark and the lonely sky, my love.....